Foreshadowing

So, almost every morning that I wake up able to remember my dreams, I've been dreaming about something related to Uganda. I have so many Uganda dreams that I feel like I've already been there. And they run the gamut as far as situations go... from having to kill spiders, goats and snakes (eek!) to being really good at playing soccer with the kids (this should tip me off that I'm dreaming), to traveling all over the place with some random boy trying to reunite him with his parents (?). I attribute this to all of the blog-stalking I've been doing, the movies and media I've absorbed, and just my crazy, mixed-up head.  But since I already feel a bit familiar with Uganda, I think this is a good time to document my expectations (I know that according to PC, you shouldn't have expectations- but that's almost impossible!).  This way, a year or more into service, I can look back and compare the reality of my situation to my premature assumptions.

Anticipated Rewards

• Slowing down- reading, cooking, being disconnected for awhile.
• Being around kids- kids are fun.
• Making a positive impact (no matter how small)- really hope this happens.
• Learning!!! Yay! About other people, microfinance, culture, food, language, development, myself, all kinds of stuff.
• Getting tough- thin skin no more.
• Feeling grateful- I know I'm a lucky girl. I know I was born to the best family in the best country. I know I take a lot of my opportunities for granted. I'd like to be more conscious of this.
• Being earthy- I want to grow some veggies and not be scared of killing bugs. Sounds simple enough.
• Gaining perspective- always a good thing.
• Being a part of people's lives that I normally wouldn't meet. Ugandans and everyone else I'll meet along the way.

Anticipated Challenges

• Food- yum. I get grumpy when I'm hungry. I can't imagine not having cheese and bread on a regular basis. I also really hope I don't have to kill any animals to eat, suck a fish head, or eat dried fish. Ick. Also not looking forward to giving up my newly acquired 'all you can eat' diet. It's pretty great.
• Patience- I'd like to think I have it, but in some situations I don't. I plan to work on this.
• Privacy- it's going to be tough to be 'on' all the time, not being able to blend in, and having everyone know of you, even if you don't know them. This may tie back to the patience bit.
• Cleanliness- bucket baths aren't the same as showers.
• Lack of impact- 'nuff said
• Moral dilemmas- I'm sure there'll be lots of these. I think it'll be hard to pick my battles. This is gonna be a tough one.
• Isolation- being away from my awesome friends and family is no bueno. That's why you need to send lots of letters and  pictures!!! xoxo

Anticipated Fears

• Health and safety- I know that getting sick is inevitable and I'm good with that. I just don't want anything that I can't fully bounce-back from : / I'll try my very best to avoid this, promise.
• Being bitter about development- no one wants to be bitter. Maybe more realistic, but hopefully not bitter.
• Being a weirdo when I come back to the US (more of a weirdo than I am now that is). I'm sure it won't take long to get used to warm showers, cold beer and grilled cheese, but it will be tough getting readjusted to the fast-paced and option-filled American lifestyle.

Overall, I know this will be a great learning experience that I'll remember the rest of my life. :) And I don't want to live my life wondering 'what if...'
On that note, I think it's time for a bowl of mint chocolate chip ice cream.
Love always,
E